Melancholy

So I woke up this morning, and felt great, ready to start the day and get the school year underway. Of course that quickly changed when I got to school and started listening to what they wanted us to do this year. Today, tomorrow, and Friday are what we call inservice and they are such a load of crap. Basically they are taking three days to tell me how to do something I could do in three hours if they would just let me sit and work on it. I am not a very patient person sometimes and it just pisses me off that I have to sit and listen as if I was a moron just cause there are some members of my faculty that have to have everything spelled out. So needless to say my mood swiftly turned.

After school got out, I headed to the golf course, where my mood suddenly turned to one of irritation. Irritation at having to answer the phone or deal with the members. I just didn't want to be there.

Now I sit here wondering what am I doing here. Maybe I am just in a funk, but I HATE where I live. It sucks! Of course it doesn't help that all of my friends, who I love dearly, are married, have kids, etc. I just feel like I am all alone and am going to stay this way. It is so frustrating. As I was at work tonight, I just kept thinking, I gotta get out of this town, this state, and try something different. Of course, now is a fine time to come to this realization with a new school year starting and there being no way to rectify this situation for like 9-10 months. Figures, just the way my brain works some days.

I don't know where I want to go, but just somewhere. But do I really have the gumption to just pack up and move somewhere away from the friends and family that I have been around for years. To start something totally new and exciting? I would like to say "hell, yeah" since all of my friends think I am so brave...but I just don't know. I could teach anywhere...I have always said that. But could I really? Could I move to Florida and get a job? or Texas? or Indiana? I just don't know. Anyone got a good state I could move to?

Maybe I am just in a funk and will come out of it. Who knows? Just know, that I hate this feeling and how my life is going. I hate being the only single person I know who has no attachments and can fly by the seat of her pants. It sounds like it would be fun, but actually it is really kind of lonely. While everyone else has someone to come home to, I come home to an empty house...perhaps that's why I work so much. There's nothing else to do in this town. I think what I really need is a big city...where I can get lost and yet still have plenty to keep me excited and occupied.

My friends are always teasing me that I have friends all over the country. And I do, and could probably move close to someone I know, so that I wouldn't be totally alone. I just don't know what to do...anyone got any suggestions?