In Memoriam

This post is in memoriam of a lovely young lady who perished this weekend in the flooding in Central Kentucky. She was a beautiful girl and a much loved daughter, sister, and friend.
http://www.kentucky.com/mld/kentucky/news/15595828.htm

Lindsey, you are loved and you will be missed...

How about a little humor?

These are a couple of jokes from a friend of mine in the military. He is leaving for Germany for three years in the next week! Here's to him and all of our service men and women out there! May they be safe!
=================================================

This is a terrible, sneaky, dastardly device that is totally against the Geneva Convention!!!!! I think with this new device, it will be the beginning of WWIII.
The damn terrorists have sunk to a new low. Roadside bombs, suicide bombers, bombs strapped to babies, but this………………it’s just friggin wrong! WRONG I say!!!

================================================

In Jerusalem, a journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday,for a long, long time, so she went to check it out.

She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was. She watched him pray, and after about 45 minutes when he turned to leave, she approached himfor an interview.

"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. Ipray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a fuckin' wall."

Rain Rain Go Away

So I went to the game last night and it was going good. The rain was holding off and we got through the homecoming festivities. Got the queen crowned and the band played and the teams marched back onto the fields and then BOOM!

Lightning filled the sky!

That meant at least 30 minutes delay from the last seen strike. Unfortunately, I don't think they ever finished the game cause from that point on lightning and thunder was all that was seen and heard. It was crazy. It poured last night. Now I love the rain, but it was loud! I have a window unit in my bedroom and of course when it rains, I hear the drops on the metal outside the window. It was so loud last night, it was hard to sleep. That made getting up this morning for work rather difficult.

Yes, I said I got up for work on a Saturday, so that must mean the golf course. Now you may ask why in the hell and I'm going to work at a golf course in the rain? Good question. Here is what I saw when I came in to work this morning.

Are you seeing what I am seeing? Water everywhere. What is the point of me being at work? To answer the phone! We were supposed to have a tournament there today and tomorrow, and I had to call members this morning and let them know it had obviously been postponed. What fun! Called one guy and his kid answers the phone "Hello Who is this please?" That's right, all in one breath I might add? What happened to phone ettiquette! Geez! So then I go outside to get some air and I see this:

Now just what the hell is that? I thought at first it was just brush washed up from the rain or blown from the wind...but upon closer inspection...those are earthworms! Now you know it has rained when the earthworms come up out of the dirt because they are drowning! Crazy! So work proceeded today with me watching the TV and grading science tests. How great is that? To get paid to do my school work! LOL! However, what a boring morning. Finally, my relief shows up and I leave. I decide to take a drive down to that driving range I was talking about and see how much water it had. Check out our new pets!

Guess I won't be having to pick it anytime soon at least not without a boat!
On the way out of the course, I stopped to snap some pictures of the most flooded hole on the golf course just to see how much, if any, the water had gone down.

As you can see the water had receded a little from 7am to 1pm but not a lot...and we got more rain today! And the best part is I get to go and do it all over again tomorrow! Yippee! Have a good one!

Stupid Test Scores

So today ends another work week and boy am I glad! The first part of the week wasn't too bad, but then came golf course nights on Wednesday and Thursday. Got to help the new kid pick the range on Wednesday and then got to pick it all by myself on Thursday. That sucked! We have this golf cart with this cage on it and these big rolling things in front to pick up the balls. Let's just say it is not designed for this. The damn thing only turns to the left, you have to go up the hill at a slant, can't go backwards, and doesn't pick up half the balls you run over. It was very tiring. Then to top it off, the golf pro topped off the pyramids of balls before he finished his lessons which is like 8 pyramids with like 100 balls in them or something. Two guys stayed until 10 minutes before the range was supposed to close and hit almost all of them out onto the range. Just as I would get one area where they weren't hitting cleaned up and had moved on to another, they would switch clubs and starting hitting in to the area where I had just been. Now you might think, just wait til everyone leaves, but you can't. We close the range at 7 and it gets dark at 8. I started picking at 5 and at 7:30 there were still balls on the range. I finally said screw it...not gonna happen. Did what I could, cleaned up, and headed back up to the shop to finish up what had to be done there. So tired when I got home last night.

Now as tired as I was I had to watch my Thursday night lineup of TV! Survivor had me laughing out of my chair as the voted off member started professing his love for one of the other castaways. The look on the host's face was priceless! Then I got to stare at McDreamy on Grey's Anatomy. However, not sure what to think. What does he do? after months of leading her on and still staying with his wife, tells her he loves her. Isn't that just so typical of men? Now according to her she has a choice! What about his choice? Seems as if he is just waiting to see what she says before dumping or not dumping his wife. Ok now wait a minute...that just isn't right! If I was her (and I so want them together) I would stick with Finn at this point. Then came the season premiere of ER. Love ER! Good episode! Sad for Abby and Kovac though. I like them together. And then Sam firing the gun at the end. Wow! Can't wait til next week. Thursday is definitely a busy night for TV.

Today was spirit day and everyone was dressed in camos for the homecoming football game tonight and it has been pouring rain all day. What a mess it is going to be tonight! However, I got to spend my planning hour in a stupid meeting about portfolios today. In addition to teaching like 13 chapters in 18 weeks, we are supposed to be putting a writing portfolio piece in as well. Now where in the hell am I going to fit that. It's bad enough that I have to go so fast to cover the content, now you want me to move even faster to stick in writing. It's just too much for the kids to take in, they fall behind and our test scores drop. Now there's another story. I am just sick and tired of hearing about these damn test scores. I am doing all that I can in my classes and the kids still don't perform well. Why? Because (and I'm sure you've heard it before) they are not held accountable! The kids know that what they do doesn't affect them, it only the kids after them and the teachers. Plus, it is like comparing apples to oranges. How can you compare one group of kids one year to another group the next year. I'm sorry but I just don't believe you can constantly score higher and higher with different groups of kids. We were talking about it at lunch today, and why not give the freshmen a test when they enter school and then give them an exit test when they are seniors. Compare the same kids and how they do, rather than two different sets of kids. Show what kids learned in high school by having the same teachers, etc. I just don't get it. All I know is that I am working my ass off and it's not getting done. Even so far as to receive an email from the higherups about how embarassed they are at the test scores and how we aren't doing enough. Honestly, I don't know what else I can do.

Whew! out of breath after that one! LOL! Well gotta head to the game in a while to take up ticket money! Fun time! Have a great weekend!

Which Action Hero Are You?

You scored as The Amazing Spider-Man. After being bitten by a radioactive spider, Peter Parker was transformed from a nerdy high school student into New York's greatest hero. Peter enjoys the thrill of being a super hero, but he struggles with the burdens of leading a double life. He hopes someday to win the heart of his true love Mary Jane, the woman he's loved since before he even liked girls. Right now, he just wants to make it through college and pay his bills.

The Amazing Spider-Man 83% Maximus 67% Indiana Jones 67% James Bond, Agent 007 67% Batman, the Dark Knight 67% Neo, the "One" 67% The Terminator 50% Lara Croft 50% El Zorro 50% Captain Jack Sparrow 50% William Wallace 33% Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

UK Wins!

So yesterday was a great day! Long but great! Started my day yesterday at 6:30 when I showed up for work and had to set up the range and get things going at the golf course by myself. Left work at 11:15 to go home, shower, and change and head to Lexington with my girl Kristen for the UK game and tailgating. Decided on wearing jeans and bringing a sweatshirt and while that decision seemed like a good one, it was a long time until it paid off. Yesterday was a beautiful day and awesome football weather. But it was so hot!

Arrived at UK around 1:30 or so and began my first (hopefully of many) tailgating experiences. Let's just say I had a blast! While I have been to a few UK football games, I had never experienced the joys of tailgating before. Of course I didn't know any of the guys we were tailgating with, they were all Kristen's friends, but it was a lot of fun. I began drinking and talking and sort of got a little tipsy in the process. Now when I start drinking, I of course, start flirting and chatting up the guys. Several good looking ones by the way. One even asked Kristen about me, so we'll see.

Begin playing cornhole with Kristen and the others, and the first game wasn't too bad, only lost 21-18 but that would be the best showing I could muster. The boards were not level and I was drinking so you can imagine how my game play went. Let's just say I sucked at it! I mean badly! LOL! But was I there to play cornhole or to do a little drinking and flirting? Decisions...Decisions...HMMM....So I kept drinking.

Of course through the midst of all of this drinking, I didn't eat a whole lot and it sort of caught up with me and I became a little inebriated. Mistake! or not... Finally came time for the game, and we started walking over to the stadium. I was really having a hard time walking straight so I ended up walking arm in arm with one of the guys. He was cute! Laughing and just having a great time! We got in and found our seats and I decided I had better eat something. So I went for food, and had to hold on to the wall because the world was spinning. I needed to eat and fast! Got some nachos and water and returned to my seat. Then the guys flagged us down from their seats and we went over and sat with them. I ended up sitting in front of the cute one and leaning against him throughout the game. Not bad to watch a football game with your very own built in back rest. LOL!

The game was great! and over way too soon. I didn't want the night to end. UK won! First time they have won the conference season opener in like 22 years. After the game, we went back to where we were tailgating and just laid around and waited for traffic to clear before heading back across the field to the car. I so didn't want to go home because I had been having way too much fun, but the night did eventually have to end and home we went.

I so have to go to the next game! LOL!

Have a great week!

Catching up!

Gosh, it's been a whole week since I been here..let's see what has happened. First and foremost, I finally sold my truck. After the guy from CO cancelled on me last week, I made some calls and had a fellow teacher from another county want to buy my truck. He was supposed to come get it on Tuesday but couldn't get a loan from the bank. WTF? couldn't get a $5000 loan from the bank and he is a teacher! He must have the shittiest credit there is! Anyway...so I called some more. Found a people in OH and TN who were going to come up and look at it on Thursday and Friday respectively. Of course I told them both first come first serve...tired of holding it only to have the buyer back out. Well the guy from OH came on Thursday, took it for a drive, looked under the hood, etc...and offered me $4500...I was like, you're here, you have cash, and I am sick as hell of answering the damn phone....DEAL! So off to the courthouse we went, signed over the title and watched him drive it away! I am so glad to be rid of it. Cancelled the insurance so I'll even get a refund there. Yippee!

School is going well, the little tykes are behaving fairly well. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Of course there are still the little punks who want to mess it up for the rest of them. But what can you do? Finally got good news that two of the little punks actually got sent away to another school. They so didn't belong in the normal high school. Didn't do any work and just caused more trouble then they were worth. Life is peaceful in that one class now...it's so nice not to have to constantly be fighting with them!

Worked Wednesday and Thursday at the golf course. Wednesday I showed up and there were no cars in the parking lot. Turns out, after all the rain this past week, there were no carts allowed out and the driving range was closed. Basically I just had to be there until like 7 and then I could go home. Do you think I went home then? Hell no! At like 6:45 two members showed up wanting to walk with two of our pushcarts...so I had to wait until like 8:30 for them to return. Bites! Thursday wasn't bad though, all carts in by 6:30 and I was out the door at 7. I guess it all evens out in the wash.

Today of course is the start of the weekend, and thankfully the first Friday night in a long time that I didn't have to work (although I do have to be at work at 7am tomorrow!) so I went to Target to return wedding gifts with a friend (hers not mine, lol!). Then to Walmart where I did a little grocery shopping and bought the original Star Wars movies on DVD. So excited about that! Absolutely love Star Wars! Now I have all 6! yeah! Spent way too much money but hey I just sold a truck!

Tomorrow after work, I got free tickets to the UK football team. Tailgating with my girl Kristen before hand and then watching them throw around the pigskin! Should be an interesting and fun evening! LOL!

And now for some humor as if my life isn't humorous enough! LOL! Enjoy!

Why Why Why
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt,you blank blank?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE......The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Have a great weekend!

Selling my truck...

So since I have this brand new beautiful vehicle, I need to sell my pickup truck. So I decided to use the vast services of the internet to do so. Little did I know what an overwhelming response I would get. I posted the ad on Tuesday night last week, and as of today I have had 17 people either call or email me with questions and interest. Wow! I have had callers from Kentucky, Tennessee, Indiana, and as far away as Denver, Colorado. Now you have to ask yourself why anyone from Colorado would want to come all the way to Kentucky to buy a pickup truck. I don't understand but they did. The guy called me on Thursday night and told me he wanted to buy the truck. He was trying to find a flight out as we were speaking. I said okay just let me know. He calls back later that night and tells me he will be in Lexington at 10am Friday morning. Well, excited I was! I called my principal and took a sick day for Friday, went by the school and did lesson plans, and went home and got the paper work ready. However, at 8:30 am Friday morning he calls me and tells me he couldn't get on the flight. Disappointed? yes. Pissed that I had wasted a sick day? yes. But what can you do? Apparently it is a hot commodity and will eventually sell, just gotta find the right person I guess.

Totally wasted Friday after that, didn't move from the couch until I had to go into work at the golf course that evening at 7. Friday was our Glow ball night and I was at work until midnight. Then back to work at 7 the next morning. No sleep means another wasted day Saturday, spent vegging on the couch. I watched three movies: Failure to Launch, The Third Wheel, and High School Musical. Now while I will definitely say they were all chick flicks, they were pretty good.

Back to work today with the threat of rain looming. Unfortunately it didn't hit until right now. But thankfully I am home in the house. Strange though cause lightning was cracking everywhere and the sirens did not go off at the course. Tomorrow I have to go back to school and see what kind of mess I get to clean up after being out on Friday. Fun times!

Have a good Monday!

I Never Knew That...

In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb".

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king in history: Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs -Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bullet-proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on be d frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

AND FINALLY

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow ...


In addition this was nominated as the best short joke this year:
A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.
"Mom", he asked, "are these my brains?"
"Not yet," she replied

Have a good one!

Hallelujah and other stuff

First of all, can I say FINALLY! Yes, that's right, the girls finally got smart and evicted Will from the BB house! Hallelujah! I am so glad to see him gone! The boys got caught in all of their lies and got played. And then to see Boogie so visably upset was too funny! Talk about a sore loser! Then in the first round of the HOH, he makes the comment that they have to take him to the final two. WTF? Why? Hopefully the girls will stick to their guns and win or lose not let him even have a shot at the money!

This weekend was pretty long and boring with work, which was basically all I did all weekend. Friday night actually got to play golf and get paid for it. We have a couples golf outing on most Friday nights and this past Friday one of the wives couldn't make it and the husband still wanted to play so the golf pros volunteered me. Man was it chilly! It was a good time, but the golf sucked! I hadn't played in like a month and it so showed! I had a couple of good drives where I outdrove everyone else but other that that it was very bad. I couldn't hit my irons in the fairway and couldn't put for anything. But how can you complain when you get paid to play golf! LOL!

Worked on Saturday and Sunday too and on Sunday my bag boy had to leave early which left me with the job of picking the range. Now we have a range picker but it sucks! Won't turn and hardly picks up the balls. So after about 30 minutes of trying it (never actually driven it before) I just decided to hand pick until I couldn't see anymore. I was exhausted on Sunday night and then of course I had to work again on Monday morning bright and early! Fun times! So needless to say basically I worked most of the weekend and slept the rest. Then it was back to school and the little ones this morning.

Got this article emailed to me this morning...
"Classrooms were a little less crowded at Morton High School in Hammond , Ind. , on the first day of classes: 128 students were sent home for wearing improper clothes."
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14549938/from/ET/
Now if only they would do that where I work. I can't tell you had sick I am of seeing teenagers in less than appropriate attire. The worst part is the kids who obviously don't understand that not all clothes are made for all people. The girls just don't understand that some clothes, while popular and in style, are not made for their body types. It's really sad.

Anywho...hope you have a great week!